I look in the mirror and am taken back that person looking back at me, is in fact ME.
Dark circles under my eyes and sallow skin, almost bald head with sprigs sticking out, and swollen limbs. It's frightening to look at yourself in a fight. I know that my inner self is the one shining, but this poor body is taking a beating from the chemotherapy.
Once again, my body is in a fight against itself. The first few days are the hardest. It's intense. I'm starting to stumble. As I break down, I think I can't handle it, want to curl up in a ball and fill myself with that ugly word, "worry." I turn again to my devotional, and once again, it speaks to me.
"That is why walking in the light of my Presence is essential to keep you from stumbling. By staying close to me, you present yourself as a living sacrifice."
(Jesus Calling)
Romans 12:1-2
12 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
It is His will that I accept this, stand up to it, fight it, and win over it.
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