Child of the one true King!

I love that song! MatthewWest is one my my favorite Praise and Worship singers. This song "Hello my name is..." Speaks to me!

I haven't blogged in a very long time. Honestly, I've tried a few times, and catch myself "trying" to hard. Usually, when writing my feelings the words seem to flow. (Not always grammatically correct, but the thoughts and words flow freely)
I blamed it on brain radiation and it must have zapped my creativity, because I find myself uninterested in doing things I once liked so much.
Putting that aside, I've also spent more than a month in some places in my own SELF I haven't considered writing about, because it was so negative that I sounded way too human. I don't want to let down any of those who think I am strong. So I decided I would share my dark moments to share my humanity.
I have challenged my Lord's love for me.
I don't need proof from Him, but I have sadly listened to those "voices" of doubt from the enemy.
He has tried his best to make me feel insignificant to God. Don't worry, I'm not always in dark moments like this, but I have been there many, many times.
I've spent hours being angry on the inside and trying to smile on the outside. I've been in and out of ER's being in and out of machines for testing. The levels of pain I have felt are off the charts, and cause out of body experiences without any will to keep fighting. I'm guilty of telling myself that I'm done.

Being told your battle is impossible to win, you just wonder why you keep getting back up. These people are doctors, I should listen to them. Right?

Am I going to die?

Yes, I am. So are you. Everyone will. Only HE knows when our time on this earth is over.

My God, my Savior has had plans for me. He has plans for all of us to fulfill while we are here.

I don't expect pity for my disease, I expect you to give praise to the one true God who holds each of our lives in His loving arms.
Enjoy every living, breathing moment you are given!



Isaiah 64:8

But now, O LORD, You are our Father, We are the clay, and You our potter; And all of us are the work of Your hand.